It's that time of the year where I'm desperately trying to hold on to the positives in my life.

The court date for Justin's probate is next week and all that should be good.

It is for the most part. The down side is because Justin's father didn't have a Will, we will be paying down his fathers dept, that is if we want to keep the house that has been in his family for four generations.

Which is something we want. We want to keep it in the family,we want to live in it and we want to fix it up and do what his family did in it, which is raise a family and live our lives in it till we are old and grey. Then give to the the next Generation.

We don't mind taking up that burden we would except it. The down side is, we have to get the money. Although everyone we talk to believes in the cause and thinks it's only right that we do this, that is where it ends. No one is willing to co-sign for the loan that we would have to get to do it. Which is what is bringing me down. The total lack of faith in us.

So I'm forcing myself to think positive. Think about all of the good that has happened for us, all of the help, and good will we have had to obtain our goal thus far. To be thankful for the people in our life, they didn't have to do what they have already done, they did because they are good people. Also to be grateful for what we have. Family and friends.

I have to admit to be grateful, thankful and positive isn't easy for me, especially now. So this picture I'm posting is a white board with sentences that my son, Jerid, wrote this school year. He is in the Special Olympics swim team again this year and doing well. They think with training he could compete unassisted, which is a big leap from last time (assisted with life vest, to unassisted and no life vest) Every little and big milestone makes me smile. I have to trust that the universe has a plan for us, I just wish it co-excised with ours.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (give or take a day or three) This year we made it to my grandparent's house, had a lot of good food, seen family I haven't seen since last year and had a great time. Jerid seemed to enjoy the holiday ruckus and handled it very well. Last night (Saturday after Thanksgiving) a friend of ours had, what she called, a chosen family Thanksgiving. We saw old friends and made some new ones, which made things seem more festive.

My only regret was I didn't have my camera, so no new pictures of family from me, I have to rely on the kindness of family members and their memory cards to send pictures my way. (nudge nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean? know what I mean?) Until then, I'll post this lovely picture of a cowl I made that I submitted to 101 skein wonders, crochet addition that promptly got rejected. I'm going to be posting the pattern of in a later date. (stay tuned)

So let's talk about what Thanksgiving is about. What we are thankful for. So since it's my blog, I'll go first.

I am thankful for my families. The ones I'm blessed to be related to, and the ones that have chosen me and mine to be apart of theirs. I'm thankful for all the good times, and yes the bad ones. For without the bad ones, we would not truly know how blessed we are when the times are good.

I know this is the start of the Holiday Season's and which ever you wish to celebrate, or not. I hope that everyone will stay safe, be kind, and stay hopeful.

Enjoy the life that will come and be above all be thankful for the ones around you. Remember we are all in this together.

Season's greetings.

I would like to point out that this is long over do, and I'm sorry for the delay.



Well I had recieved some really good goodies from the Beltain (Mayday) Swap and I'm greatful to say that my package did make it there. I didn't get any pictures apon the arrival of my package but I have some pictures of some of the things that I got, I'll be posting more later...I would like to say to YaYaSis, thank you again fro the lovely gifts.



My very first package from a different country, all the way from Berlin Germany. I thought that was so cool!


In my package that I recieved was a spindle and some roving, (the roving isn't pictured, it was a lovely purple), I have never spun my own yarn, so I took my new spindle to the Sheperd Harvest Festival and learned how to spin or "role my own" yarn. I also got some really cool sock yarn which I started new socks for myself. (pictured, socks were the Blue Bell socks from One hundred and One Designer One Skien Wonders book) I love the color way and couldn't stop to take a before picture (sorry). She also sent me some jewlry, chocolate and some goodies for my dollies. I'm going to post some pictures with those idems (I promise).

In Knitting News... Today I went to my usual Knitting spot, the place I try to knit at least every Sunday. I saw some fellow fiber artists, I thought it was very cool and tried to socialize to meet new people, that seem to have a love for the arts of fiber. Then I had to remind myself a very important thing. Knitters are an intresting breed and there is two types of knitters in this world. Ones that are social knitters, they knit out side of the house to meet new people and want to socialize outside and inside of their inner circle, thus creating a bigger circle of friends. Then the other ones are anti-social knitters they knit out side of the house but are not intrested in meeting other knitters, their inner circle is just fine and there is no need to expand it. I often find that most of the knitters where I live (Chaska Area) are the anti-social knitters, sad to say. I hope to find people in my area willing to expand there social knitting circle entill then I'll just have to knit alone in the city I live, and drive to MPLS, for my social circle. In Jerid news... I was in the coffee shop (as said above) when a person who works with Jerid came up to him and said hi. She told me that Jerid is doing more and more Swimming on his own. Without a flotation device. He is also jumping off the diving board and is going into the deepend willingly. This is exciting news, consitering where he was a few short monthes ago. He is making great gains in his physical development. I'm very proud of him. We still have alot of work left to go, but the journey is the best part. In Moving to Carver News.... In my previous post I anouced that Justin's dad had past away. He apparently had no will and so everything is pending. The county wants over two-hundred grand from his astate and it's not worth that much. The house has been in the family for four generations and may be lost to the county because of Bill had no will. We are looking in to get a Lawyer because we have been working on the house for over three years. We were mostly moved in and have put alot of money and work into the home we were hoping that would be owned by a 5th gen. Hartley. If anyone knows a good lawyer, or knows the laws around this sort of thing please let us know. Thanks

Thinking about my last year. I have done more projects this year then I have ever done. Though I may not have made much money, I feel good about what I have accompished, which is more what I've felt in the past. I am very lucky for my family, though I can't begin to know how to pay them back, I do my best with the love I have for them. This year is the year I've pushed myself as an artist, a knitter, a mom and a friend. I learned alot about myself, and how much I have to work on. Though many things are not the way I wish them to be, I am confadent that, just because things are not now, they can be.

Tomorrow is November 2, 2010. A voting day. Even though it isn't a presidential election. I hope everyone will find it in their day to vote. Ok now that I have that out of the way. The last few weeks have been a little crazy Justin and Jerid went to Long Lake Conservation Center Up North Minnesota, October 18-20 th. Having the time to myself I went to Minnehaha Falls. I also went to the Mall of America. Gearing up for winter, Moving to Carver MN. has been a intresting feet. We have been slowly moving. The biggest thing right now is money. We have to start paying for past due bills for our house and Justin's dad's house. Thankfully Justin just transfered jobs to MRCI for more pay and more hours. It isn't alot more, but hay, more is more...right? Also I have been knitting like crazy. I am knitting for Christmas and I also have to think baby quilts, many of my friends are having babies. So that's all I guess entill next time.

This is Jerid, my son. He we were at Caribou the other day and I was playing with my webcam. Of course this meens he had to take over and Ham it up for everyone! I thought it was so cute that I have to share! Enjoy... It's about three minutes long, so get some popcorn. LoL!

Just thinking...

I'm just wondering why the world has to be so complex, way every one has to work so very hard to get what they want, to have it always be known that it can be taken away without rhyme, reason or notice, and the ones taking it away realy don't want what you have, they just want to make money from it, and it's meening dosn't matter. This is the world we live in. That is it.

Jerid has been going to Summer Camp this week, two more weeks to go. He seemed to develope a cough, I took him to urgent care, but it seems nothing medical, I guess I have to up his juice intake, and make sure he eats, gets rest. I am fearing he may be sick soon. I really hope it's just allergies. I don't want to take him out of Camp, he really likes it. I like that he does. We talked to an elder care lawyer today. sigh. We couldn't stay longer then an hour and she insisted on getting paid right there. Two hundred an hour...How can you sit there and look at people and seriously expect two hundred dollars for sitting on your but and looking at some papers, saying things to people that may already know. I am appalled at the amout of greed that people have. Ok, rant over....Sigh, I just wish things weren't so complicated when it comes to keeping a family house in the family. Justin and I have finally come to the conclusion that we just need to move to Carver. It would be in His dad's best intrest for some one to live in his house, on the premise that he will return home, he can't live alone.

Ok, writing every day has been happening. Just not here. I'm getting better. LOL. I have been trying to be taking more pictures too. Ok, insperation isn't as rampit some days then others. Exciting things are happening, next week Jerid will be going to a summer camp for the next two weeks. Its a day camp, I hope that Jerid will like it. That is my main worry is that he will not like it. It's sometimes hit and miss with him, some days he likes things and the same things the next day make him mad. so it should be an adventure when it comes to this.

Entil then I'm working my second sock, for myself, and just bought some yarn, the Ravenclaw colors from the book (blue and bronze) I am hoping I get the gumtion to actually have something complete for the next Harry Potter movie comes out in November.

Ok, happy knitting!

(this is a quilt I made about a year ago, It sold at Convergence 2009)

I have been looking through magazines at Barnes and Noble today and was unimpressed with allot of what I saw. I have to say the social norms are random weirdness. I guess my burning question is , now what? I like random weirdness, don't get me wrong, I loved being described as organic. I still do. Being authentic has been my state of mind for as long as I have been alive. I loved the quote "I am what I am" Poppy was right all the way on that one. I'm just wondering if people are being authentic or just trying hard to be weird, so they are noticed. The other thought is maybe I'm envious of there success of being authentic. Its very complex emotions I have been feeling lately. I know I have talent, I've never questioned that, I just don't know what to do with it. I'm kinda all over the place when it comes to that, "So many hobbies so little time' comes to mind. Which seems to be so very true when I think about it. I don't want to get rid of my hobbies, I just want to use all of them to create something bigger then maybe myself. But not so big that I loose what I have. Again with the complexities. What to do? What to do?

I've been writing a book for about fifteen years now. I have lot of pictures that I have drawn, paintings I have started and started many quilts, doll clothes that not many will buy, take pretty pictures with my camra, I knit so many things and they are warm. Part of me thinks I should give it all up, and the other part of me thinks its crazy to even think that way. Sigh.

I'm also thinking I need a fresh prospective on everything. Step out of my proverbial box of social norms and stretch out my wings and learn a new way to fly. I have the ambition to talk about it, just not the knowledge on how to do it. I also lack the ambition to get over my fears, go fig. I'll try and let you know how things go.

This post is about the man who's picture I put up...His name is Eric Bryce Dibble, he was born July 31, 1975 and he passed away Oct. 17, 2001.

Since his birthday is coming up, I thought I would write about him. His nick name was Guppy, and he was great soul.

He became my Husband June 12, 1998 and was a father to Jerid that same year.

He loved being a dad, even with his declining health he was as active as he could be at the Ren. Fest Minnesota.

I miss him and his laugh.

Rest in Peace Guppy, you are still loved.

Trouble sleeping

Lately I've been haveing problems sleeping at night, I have been staying up not because I'm not tired but because I haven't been sleeping well. I don't seem to be the only one, of my friends because I end up I.M.ing people on Facebook or talking on the phone till late at night. When I do go to bed, every noise seems to wake me up, When I do sleep, I wake up feeling just as tired as I did before I went to bed. I'm awake and aware. Just tired and drained. I did notice since we got the AC put in my sleeping has gotten a little bit better. The up side of being awake is that I have been busy.
I have finished Justin's brown socks and now am make a new pair, also still working on baby hats, and started a five hour baby sweater. I've also started my new job of being a paid Parent threw the CDSC grant, I should be getting my first pay check in about a week, I think. (hope)
I also have to start thinking of baby blankets soon, I have a few friends that are expecting before the year is through.
I'm also hoping with my pay checks, I will have enough money to start taking time for myself for a change. I have lots of bills to take careful (who doesn't) I'm hoping to have enough to have one night a week just for me. (preferably Wednesdays) so I can be social and maybe alittle active.
Well heres to being active.